Getting with the Argen-times

I feel like I am becomming a native porteña.  Someone actually came up to me in a cafe the other day and asked me for directions to the cemeterio de la recoleta, which I was able to explain not only in Spanish, but provide them with correct directions.  Could it be that I am actually starting to blend in with this culture despite my blonde hair, blue eyes, and height advantage?

Arriving in a new country can be tricky, and adapting to a new culture can be even harder.  Luckily, I have done things to immerse myself in the culture that in turn make me seem more like a porteña.  En serio, these actions and atitudes have helped me start to make long-term porteño friends.

First, I have embraced the people.  Literally.  Porteños are known for their good looks, which might help to explain their desire for public displays of affection.  Porteños are beautiful and passionate people, which can be seen through their architecture, literature, and the couple groping each other on the bench next to you in the park.  The typical greeting here is not the standard American handshake: it´s a kiss on the cheek.  Whenever I have been introduced to new people, I have had to force my hand in my pocket to avoid sticking it out as a foreigner, and instead put my face out for a kiss, hoping they don´t go for my lips.

Second, I have had to get with the Argen-times.  This city is for night owls.  I used to be a morning person in America, waking up at 5:30am every day to get my day started with a workout and heading to my two jobs.  Now, if I need to get up any earlier than 8:00am, I make sure to douse myself in mate and cortados to keep myself jittery.  Everything in this city happens late, with dinners not usually starting until 10-11pm and clubs and bars staying open until the early morning hours of 6-8am.  Because of this, I find myself eating an average of six or seven times a day. For example, I train jiu jitsu three times per week, which runs from 7-830pm.  Obviously, I need fuel before the class, so I eat something anywhere between 4-5pm, then eat immediately afterwards at 9pm, then again at 11pm with a friend from jiu jitsu, whose class goes until 10pm.  That means that three days a week, I am eating three dinners in addition to breakfast, a snack, and lunch.

Next, I have developed a sweet tooth.  I love a good piece of dark chocolate every now and again, or a spoonfull of Nutella (okay, multiple spoonfulls), but in BsAs, these items are either ridiculously expensive or difficult to find.  Instead, I have become addicted to the famous dulce de leche and medialunas that are [unfortunately] acceptable to eat at any time during the day.  Dulce de leche is a spread that is made by slowly heating sweetened or condensed milk to create a caramel-like substance.  Literally translated, it means ¨candy or sweet made of milk.¨  Medialunas are croissants that have been glazed and are typically eaten in two´s.  When visiting restaurants, typically you´ll see the menu has an array of meats, cheese, and more meats, but speaking from experience, you´ll want to leave room for dessert if you want to fit in.

Finally, I have learned to speak with my hands.  When I first arrived in BsAs, the Spanish was a complete shock to say the least.  For the first month, I thought that my entire life of Spanish classes had been done in vain.  However, Argentinians have a distinct language that is a blend of castellano, Italian, and their own made-up words.  Thankfully for me, as any person who has ever tried to communicate will know, language consists of much more than words.  I slowly learned that I could ask for something or convey what I wanted to say using a variety of facial expressions, exaggerated mouth movements, waving arms, shaking my head, etc.  No one knows these expressions more than the Argentinians (well, maybe the Italians, but over half the population of BsAs is of Italian decent).

As you may remember if you´ve been following my journey from the beginning, on my very first night here, I accidentally ordered an entire bottle of wine to myself instead of a single glass.  When the waitress brought out a bucket full of ice and placed the bottle in it after pouring my first glass, I conveyed a message that can either mean ¨¿Que?¨ or ¨What the f*#$?¨  This gesture can be made by putting all your finger tips together, with the ¨point¨ facing skywards.  You then move your hand up and down from the wrist.  This can be done using one or both hands, depending on how much you want to exaggerate it.  This expression can be used to express an exclamation of surprise or confusion (in my case, it´s mostly confusion).  The waitress noticed the hand gesture and immediately rushed over to make sure everything was okay.  I explained that I had only wanted a glass, but she said (multiple times because I couldn´t understand her) that the restaurant only offered bottles.  Although this expresion did not save me from drinking the entire bottle, it conveyed the exact emotion I was feeling.

The second one I have used regularly at restaurants is the gesture for la posta, which means ¨the absolute best¨ or ¨the absolute truth¨ depending on the context.  Argentinian waitors have aweful timing when it comes to checking on you (if they do at all), always coming by to ask how everything is whenever I have a mouth full of carne and bread.  Whenever this happens, I simply hold my hand parallel to my torso, making a loop with my thumb and index fingers and shake it up and down.  This lets the waitor know that whatever I´m eating is the ¨absolute best.¨  This one is tricky though.  If you hold your hand too low, you could end up making the gesture for ¨masturbating.¨  I doubt this is what you want to convey to a waitor at a busy restaurant while eating food.

Through the help of these various actions, I have started to feel like a true local, even despite having the word ¨American¨ stamped on my forehead.  As I continue to explore the city, meet locals, and dive into their way of life, I will add to my cheat sheet, until I confuse anyone and make them believe I am a true porteña.

BsAs post rain storm.